"I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."

"People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it."

"The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!"

"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."

"When there are monsters there are miracles."

"It requires a very unusual mind to undertake the analysis of the obvious."

"I would say to the House, as I said to those who have joined this Government: 'I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.'"

"LITIGATION, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage."

"I drink because she nags, he said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew."

"Tis sometimes the height of wisdom to feign stupidity."

"Every contrivance of man, every tool, every instrument, every utensil, every article designed for use, of each and every kind, evolved from a very simple beginning."