"There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action."

"It is a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly, just as it is to be angry with a car that won't go."

"Patriots always talk of dying for their country and never of killing for their country."

"Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim."

"Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure."

"The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation."

"There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy."

"Chaos is the score upon which reality is written."

"The best holistic remedy for high blood pressure is a purring cat on your lap."

"There is a certain majesty in simplicity which is far above all the quaintness of wit."

"You do not merely want to be considered the best of the best. You want to be considered the only ones that do what you do."

"Some forms of reality are so horrible we refuse to face them, unless we are trapped into it by comedy. To label any subject unsuitable for comedy is to admit defeat."