"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot"

"All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl."

"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world - not even our troubles."

"Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves."

"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself."

"I don't believe that the public knows what it wants; this is the conclusion that I have drawn from my career."

"Proverbs are all very fine when there's nothing to worry you, but when you're in real trouble, they're not a bit of help."

"Envy is the consuming desire to have everybody else as unsuccessful as you are."

"People are much too solemn about things - I'm all for sticking pins into episcopal behinds."

"I believe the future is only the past again, entered through another gate."

"Knowing what you can not do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that's good taste."

"Even the wisest counsel is useless when it is unheeded."